“thank you! I’m just really confused. I’ve been talking to this guy for some time now and at first we’d text back and forth all the time but now we don’t talk that much, but when we do hangout it’s fun and everything. Anyway, I haven’t had sex yet and i like him a lot but I’m scared that if we do have sex, he will ghost me or something... it’s weird like sometime he disappears but always ends up contacting me?? It’s weird idk what to make of him :( I’m scared to get attached if he wont b there” -Anonymous

You know what sis. Your first inclination is right. If this is his pattern of behavior no matter how you feel about him he’s going to continue to come and go as he pleases. Some people are just like that. Before you become intimate with someone look at the friendship. He’s not reliable now and I would hate for you to have that type of intimate tie between you two and run into the same problem. I don’t want to behin to even speculate why he behaves like this. The long and short of it is, he is interested but not committed to the idea of being close to you. It’s too risky. I’m voting NO on Article D. 🚫

—Big Sis CandiiKismet, DON’T DO IT!

“You are very charming and confident so i would like to ask you for advice... my partner is great and loving all the time, but yesterday, after a year together, they insulted me over an argument for the first time. Is this a deal breaker?”

First of all: Thank you for the compliment. So much! I love you. I don’t know you. But I love you. Thank you.

Second: Wow. How on earth did you make it to a year without being insulted?! Lol this partner of yours must be smooth as silk! But, it has to do with the nature of the insult. Keep in mind when tempers flare people can be artfully and intentionally hurtful. While other times things can come out wrong and the meanings can be mistaken. Some insults might make me irritated. Example: “WITH YO OL LOUD CHEWIN ASS!” See. Forgivable. While others can be deal breakers. Example: “I CANT STAND YOUR FAMILY! ESPECIALLY CARL!” Huh? Wait what? Carl? Oh hell no. (Carl is my daddy, for my new followers) So you have to gauge it for yourself. But what makes me pause is the fact that you’ve gone through a whole year without incident. This leads me to believe they are very considerate and caring. You both are. Just think on it, as be considerate of yourself. Have a conversation for sure.

—talk that thang out, CandiiKismet

As a professional big sister, I love to listen and give support. If you’re needing advice about what to wear for an interview or when to make the first move? Maybe you’re a little self conscious about something and just want some reassurance? I'm here. I've got a ton of life experience (I’m on my 17th one remember!) and a listening ear.

“You look so genuinely happy when you smile! 😊 Like you smile so brightly you probably light up whatever room you go into goals af one day I wanna glow that much !!”

Thank you so much. I literally am the happiest person on earth I like to think. I’m not the luckiest or the richest or the smartest or the prettiest, just the happiest. Just live your best life in the moment! That’s it. ☀️ -Sincerely, CandiiKismet

“Last time I saw my ex we had sex & texted with no issue. Then out of nowhere he ghosted & blocked me. I blocked him back out of spite & it’s been 1 1/2 month. Lurked & saw he’s back with his baby mama but can’t help wanting to reach out & at least speak & see why things happened this way. We usually talk on the daily, I lost my virginity to him and no matter what we always have a friendship. He’s always been there for me. Should I unblock him in case he’s trying to reach out? I just need advice ”

Girl absolutely not. At the end of the day, you’re feelings are in it. And that’s normal. He was your first and he’s special to you. You guys have always maintained a friendship but like it or not that is changing. And perhaps that’s healthy. Now I’m not saying that ghosting you and blocking you wasn’t an absolutely shitty thing to do, he should have been able to talk to you as a “friend” about needing distance, but I think you have to face the fact that you two will always be more than friends because of how strong your feelings for each other are. And thus, if he is pursuing things with his babymomma or any other partner it wouldn’t be appropriate to maintain that contact. Because your two aren’t just friends. And unblocking him? No. If he was really wanting to contact you he would find a way. He’s known you for a long time and I doubt you blocked him on every platform. And even if you did it’s what he gets. Your life is not equipped with a doggy door for anyone to come in and out whenever they feel like it. You can still wish him well and cherish your memories and move forward.

—CandiiKismet, close that door!

“Where do you buy your rings from ? I have chubby fingers and it’s hell trying to find ones that will fit. ”

Okay, so do you have your measurements? I wear a size 9-10 ring. The best fit is really a 9.5. I will say the best fit you’ll get and with the most durability is going to come from a jeweler. Zales is one of my favorites because they have a large selection of promise rings that go on sale often. They’re precious metal that you can get resized if you need. SIDENOTE it is HELL trying to find a Place that will resize a plated ring. You want a solid gold/silver band so that you know you can change the fit and the plating won’t wear off over time. It costs a little more but think about this, it will be with you FOREVER. I usually shop between 90$ and 200$. And that’s a good little selection. Department stores also carry “Fine Jewelry” that you can browse online. Walmart has solid gold bands that aren’t a very expensive that you can order site to store as well as Target. But if we’re just talking about something cute that will last 6 months or so? Palm Beach Jewelry has a large selection of plated rings for under 40$. Now I say 6 months if you’re wearing them constantly and washing your hands with them on…. #ME. But if you’re like sis, I’m talking 20$ and under, I hear you. Asos has rings that fit me in L/XL that come well made and very shiny. They’re usually under 15. Ashley Stuart and Lane Bryant also carry cute costume rings at low prices. I’ve never been able to find anything that fit me in FOREVER21 but if your hands are smaller than mine you can check there as well. I’ll link you to some of my favorite places this afternoon!

— Blinged Out, CandiiKismet

“Am I a bad friend? I was talking to my long distance friend & she told me her roommate stole beer from her. This is bad bc my friend is not legally allowed to drink & alcohol is not allowed on campus. She said she was worried bc if something happened to her roommate, she would be kicked out of school. The program she’s studying for is the only program in her state, if she gets kicked out she would have to move and start over. I asked why she would risk that & now she’s mad at me for judging her…”

Okay. No, you’re not a bad friend. You sound like a concerned friend. She’s probably emotional right now so she’s reactions on HI. Let me first assure you, the probability of something happening and your friend being held responsible for it is slim. I’m almost positive nothing will happen. You’re not talking about a keg, I’m sure this is just a few bottles. And even if the other girl is caught I can’t see how she could possible incriminate your friend as the source. It just doesn’t seem likely. But I will say this. In my experience, people come to you in crisis mode because they need help dealing with the crisis. Once you’ve helped defuse the ticking bomb in the room you can then question how and why it got there. At the point that the beer was stolen it really isn’t helpful, IN THAT MOMENT, to ask why would you be so careless. She has no answer. It just makes her feel dumb. Because of course it was a dumb decision. You did nothing wrong by being vocal about how risky that was. A good friend holds you accountable after the impending danger is gone. One time my little sister Kristina had taken my mother’s car to the club without permission. While she was there someone drunk HIT MY MOMS CAR. Dumbest most preventable fucking situation ever!!!!! But as an older sister I help defuse it first, ask questions later. So I would just express to your friend that you don’t want to come off as judgmental but you care so much about her future that the situation had you in a panic as well. She’ll understand. And then tell her don’t do that dumb shit anymore!

— Big Sis, CandiiKismet

“Do you have or had social anxiety if so do you have any advice?”

 As a natural extrovert I’m going to tell you absolutely. Lol. Everyone does. I don’t care who you are, how many speeches you’ve given, or how many friends you have. We all have anxiety that centers around our interactions with other human beings. Period. I think that what makes some people appear to be less anxious are a few things: 
1. They practice. You can be nervous to speak in front of people but the more interaction you have of a certain kind the less nervous or anxious you will be. 
2. They have developed the ability to anticipate the responses or reactions of others. If I ask someone how are you. 80% will say “fine” and return the question. 10% will say “fine” and drop the volley. And 10% will deviate from that canned response. If you can anticipate you can learn to respond faster and with less stress. 
3. They can “read people”. Body language, inflection, subtle cues. Being able to gauge those we interact with is a skill. You can learn. Spend some time with an especially charismatic friend. Study their body language as well as people watch. 
And lastly just remember that everyone has moments of social anxiety. The most important part is that you have the desire to continue to be social and improve your social skills. Be yourself and relaxing is the biggest and best thing you can do to master any social situation. Trust me. It works. ✨

— WooooooSaaaaaaa says Big Sis, CandiiKismet